Abby and Eason –
It has been a long summer, and I haven’t written…. As you know! In the beginning of summer I kept thinking I would return to writing. But, by mid summer, I knew I had to wait. There was simply too much in our lives for me to write at that time. So, now I am back.
And I think writing about the summer is a perfect place to start.
As you know a lot has happened. We brought a child into our home for the purpose of adoption. Both of you had very hard camp experiences that ended in you coming home early. Our business is struggling. And, Abby’s heart decided that it did not like hot temperatures and was going to move in and out of AFIB all summer.
It felt overwhelming. I really struggled with the fact that I couldn’t fix anything. I couldn’t help the new kiddo adjust, and she made sure we all knew she was not happy. I couldn’t fix the camp challenges you faced. I couldn’t fix the problems in the business. And, mostly, I can’t heal Abby’s heart.
I felt desperate. As your mom, I wanted to fix it all. I wanted to tell you there was a plan.
But I couldn’t. I didn’t have a plan to fix anything we were facing.
I cried to Jesus asking why everything felt broken. Over and over I remembered his words in Matthew 6:34, “So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
On good days, I found peace in turning to Jesus and learning how to be grateful for the day we were in. On bad days, I felt isolated and didn’t talk to Jesus. I wasn’t focused on the day. I was stressing about what’s next.
This summer taught me a lot about what we do when things don’t go my way. I’ll be writing the next few letters about that…
But, more than anything, it reminded me that no matter what the loving kindness of Jesus is our anchor. Jesus’ love brings us to repentance when we are depending on ourselves; Jesus, in His love, sits with us when we are hurting, and it is Jesus’ love that gives us joy for the day and for our future.
I love you both,
Mom