Abby and Eason –
Yesterday my stomach was hurting. I felt stressed, I think… or maybe worried. I could have been fearful… I think the story is that I didn’t understand my emotions. But I knew I didn’t want to be feeling them. I wanted to feel peace. I wanted to trust Jesus no matter what was happening.
It started a couple of hours before my doctor’s appointment – the appointment where I would learn more about the mass. An appointment I would probably remember for a long time to come.
I felt like I was fighting inside of myself. With all of my heart, I wanted to rest in the peace of Jesus. I wanted to not be scared about the appointment, but my stomach feeling like it would soon throw up made me realize that I was more scared than I was admitting.
And, that’s what I want to write a letter to you about today – emotions. Candidly, it is an area I feel like I am just beginning to surrender to Jesus. I think I am starting to learn about how He created us and how to allow all of my emotions to bring Him glory in all situations.
Here is what I know. God created us. He gave us emotions. He desires a connection with us.
Emotions make us aware of what we are feeling inside. They aren’t something we conquer and get rid of. We need them.
And the Lord wants to be a part of every part of our lives, including our emotions. Throughout the Bible we see encouragement to “be strong and courageous” (Joshua 1), “to make a joyful noise” (Ps. 98:4), “forgive one another” (Eph. 4:32), and so much more. Our emotions are a gift from the Lord and an expression that helps us connect deeply with Him.
Yesterday, I told Jesus that my heart and my emotions were not in the same place. My heart boldly proclaims that I trust Jesus and that I will walk with Him wherever He leads. My upset stomach said I realized the impact of what was happening around me and I was scared.
I cried with Jesus and asked Him to comfort me in my fear. I asked Him to help me find my way back to the peace I had felt before yesterday. I asked Him hard questions – “Why does life have to be hard?” I asked Him how He handled life here.
As I shared my emotions, the Holy Spirit reminded me of stories – stories of Jesus’ life, the garden, and others who have walked before me. I am going to write about one of those stories tomorrow. It was too amazing and impactful to shorten to a paragraph or so in this letter.
For today, know that Jesus met me in the place where I was. He told me stories. His stories encouraged me and brought me back to a place of peace. His stories reminded me that I was not alone.
And, yesterday I leaned even more into a lesson I am still learning. I don’t need to understand my emotions before I talk to Jesus about them. I can simply tell Him my stomach hurts and my heart and body don’t seem to agree on how I feel. I asked Him to help me figure it out, to lead me back to a place of peace.
Jesus loves to sit with us, to talk, to cry. He loves to dance in happy times. He loves to listen when we need to talk.
Emotions remind us of all of the things we can talk to Jesus about – happy, sad, joyful, fearful, etc. Jesus wants to be part of all of our lives. So, talk to Him.
I love you both!
Mom