Abby and Eason,
I kind of bet you are tired of hearing me say “flip the coin over.” (Well, at least one of you are…) But it’s kind of my rally cry in the last season. We’ve been through a lot as a family – fostering children with attitudes, business problem after problem before launching our new endeavor, friend problems, etc. Sometimes it can feel exhausting.
And, honestly, it is easy to fall into having laser focus on the things that aren’t working.
But, all that leads to is life stinking. We can always find what we are looking for, and if we see the world as negative and hard, we can find that.
That’s when it’s time to “flip the coin.”
I told you guys the other day a story about a foster child that was particularly challenging me. I felt like I was giving her 200% or more of what I had to offer, and I found myself extremely frustrated that the situation wasn’t improving.
One night I asked Jesus how to handle the situation. (I kind of envision Him as a Father exhaling and being really glad I finally asked for help instead of just complaining).
I felt encouragement from Him to “flip the coin.” While those weren’t the actual words I heard Him say, it was the message. His words aligned more with Scripture. “Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:18).
Next, I felt Him challenging me to say out loud 10 things that I was thankful for about this foster child. At first, it was a little hard. I was tired. She was pushing me and showing no gratitude for the things I was doing for her.
I wanted to do what Jesus said. So, I forced myself to find 10 things. The first 5 things I said were hard. I realized I had to surrender to Jesus. I was focusing on myself and frustrated with her. I wanted her to be grateful for me. None of that was from Jesus.
Finding #6-10 were much easier. What had changed was my heart. I started creating the list of 10 items with an entitled attitude – she should be grateful for the things I had done. I finished creating the list of 10 items having repented for my attitude. My heart had softened.
After I made the list, I prayed and thanked Jesus for my foster daughter. I remembered that I wasn’t a foster parent for the child to show me gratitude. I was a foster parent because I wanted to share Christ love to my foster daughter. Had I not repented and “flipped the coin,” she probably would have seen a side of me that didn’t look much like Jesus.
My favorite verse is Jeremiah 31:3. It says, “I have loved you with an everlasting love, therefore I have drawn you with my lovingkindness.” It is the loving kindness of Jesus that leads us to repentance. Sometimes, “flipping the coin” by being thankful for what is going on around us leads us to repentance.
After my thankfulness exercise, praying for my foster daughter was natural. Loving her was easy. I disciplined myself to keep up the thankfulness exercise every night until I was no longer focused on the negative but seeing her through the love of Jesus.
Think about where you need to see things differently. Sometimes it’s not just with a person; sometimes it’s a situation. Thankfulness is a great first step in beginning to see the world through the eyes of Jesus.
I am thankful for both of you and so proud you are my children,
Mom