Abby and Eason,
Obviously, choosing to have a super small ceremony meant that a lot of our friends would not be at the ceremony. We wanted to invite them but also stay true to the ceremony we thought was best. So, we found ways to do both.
Before we got married we had a series of wedding showers. These showers allowed us to invite friends and family to speak into our marriage and celebrate with us.
We simply told people that we wanted to have a very small ceremony, and that our showers would be the time where we would celebrate with our friends.
My best friend threw us a massive shower where I invited my friends and family. I loved it very much because I was able to sit with friends and talk without the pressure of being the center of attention. I could move from table to table and tell each person how much I loved them and how special they were in my life.
We opened presents at the shower, but people were congregating amongst themselves as we did so the focus was never 100% on us. I loved watching my friends talk and get to know others that they might not have known before the shower just as much as I loved opening presents (honestly more).
The shower allowed me to reflect on the amazing people Jesus has placed in my life. I loved each of them and was so grateful to have them in my life.
I guess what I am saying is that the showers allowed us to accomplish two goals: (1) special time with friends and (2) a wedding ceremony that was more intimate and smaller.
I guess that I will just leave you with two things:
- There are other reasons we chose this approach to marriage. I don’t think they all need to be listed in this letter, but I will tell them to you if the need arises. To simplify a long story, you know that I am a survivor of abuse. Parts of the marriage ceremony were hard for me, and I wanted to create an environment that was as authentic and special as I could.
- Marriage is a commitment between you and your spouse to Jesus. That is always the priority, but what I want you to see in this letter is that there are a lot of people who love you. These people need to be invited to speak into your life and be part of your support system. So, having showers was a way for me to show these people that I was so grateful for them and to invite them to be a part of my next phase of life.
Don’t forget – As believers, we are to live in community. (There are 4000 letters to write on that topic… it is easy and hard simultaneously). So, as you celebrate and prepare for your wedding, what would it look like for you to invite the community Jesus has given you to be a part of the wedding season? It can look a lot of different ways, all are okay. Just be honest with Jesus and your community and plan an amazing time of commitment.
I love you lots!
Mom