Abby and Eason,
Yesterday I had to discipline one of you. (You know who you are). I always believe that the discipline should be creative to match the issue. In this case, one of you walked part of the way home from an event. Why?
Well, before I get there. I want you to know that discipline is one of the hardest parts of being a parent. As your mom, I love you beyond measure. Disciplining you hurts me because I never want us to be in the situation that caused me to have to discipline you.
But, sometimes we end up in those situations. And, when we do, we have to face what happened and learn from it.
Rarely have you guys ever been disciplined for your actions. It’s almost always your attitude that leads me to discipline you. If I only discipline your actions, you will be right back in the same situation because your attitude didn’t change. So, I try to keep the focus on your attitude, not your action.
So, why did you walk home? Entitlement, self focus, an unwillingness to listen. The “action” that caused you to be disciplined wasn’t that big of a deal. But, entitlement, self focus, and an unwillingness to listen; those are killers. Quickly they will lead you down a path that you don’t want to be on. And, I love you enough to call out the attitude the moment I see it.
It does hurt me to discipline you. I often cry. I wonder if you really understand why you are being disciplined. But I know that the path you will be on without discipline is much worse. I know that we have to guard our hearts from sin.
I know because Jesus models this love to us. The Bible says that it is the lovingkindness of Christ that leads us to repentance (Romans 2:4). Jesus’ everlasting love draws us to Himself (Jeremiah 31:3).
The Holy Spirit inside of believers tells us when our hearts are not in the right place. The Father, our Dad, embraces us with love. The completeness of His’ love reminds us of our sins and leads us to repentance.
I am not Jesus. I don’t know how to love you the way He loves you. His love is so complete and so pure. But, I do love you the very best way I know how. And my hope is that you will see that my love, and even my discipline, comes from a desire to see you follow after Jesus. In Him, we find life. This world has nothing to offer. You will find life, and happiness, in Jesus.
This feels like a clunky letter… I am not 100% sure that I have been able to clearly say what I am trying to say. So, I will leave you with the words of the Bible.
Proverbs 10:17 – Whoever heeds instruction is on the path to life, but he who rejects reproof leads others astray.
Hebrews 12:11 – For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
Proverbs 12:1 – Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid.
Proverbs 13:24 – Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.
Revelation 3:19 – Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent.
I love you both so much!
Mom